In 2009, when I was pregnant with my second child, I felt God’s call to write.
I had written previously as a hobby and as a dream but not since I was sixteen had I written with a mindset that it was my vocation. When I heard God’s call, I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. So far, I have written sixteen books for children, twenty books for teens/young adults and two non-fiction books.
In many of my books, the main characters hear God, which ultimately saves them and heals what’s broken on the inside. I write that so frequently because that’s been my experience. To read more about my personal journey and how God fixed me check out my non-fiction book, Please Fix Me.
In 2019 God again spoke to me about writing. This time he told me that writing is to be my hobby, not my job. I felt devastated. My self-worth had become tangled up in the writing and I started to have pride (the bad kind) about it. The direction I got from God was that I wasn’t to read the reviews of my books or try to make money on my books. I was so disappointed. It was like I was a kid and all my candy was taken away.
Then I got more and more tired. My writing decreased in volume to almost nothing. I’ve always been very low energy – that’s been one of the main struggles preventing me from working much of my adult life. By 2019 my energy had deteriorated to such an extent that most of my time was spent lying in bed or on the couch. I had been told since I was a young adult that I had depression. But anti-depressants never helped me much; they just made me feel more tired. Finally I saw a psychiatrist who listened to my symptoms and analyzed my medical history. He explained to me that I don’t have depression after all but rather have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I sometimes felt happy but often felt sad and discouraged. The psychiatrist explained that feeling sad and discouraged is normal if you have to lie in bed most of the day. Finally, with a diagnosis, I thought things would move in the right direction. But there is no cure or successful treatment for ME/CFS. I was prescribed a powerful stimulant that helped to some degree but it gives me chest pain so I only took it every second day.
One day I was praying and feeling kind of sorry for myself because I had started giving my books away for free, as I felt God was leading me to. Then God spoke to me. He said he was proud of me and happy that I was giving away books for free! I felt like he liked my stories and was happy that people were reading them. He told me that he was going to pay me for every book I gave away! What a blessing – to be paid in heaven’s currency and have that treasure stored up where moths and rust can’t destroy and where thieves can’t break in and steal! And, being that God is wonderfully generous, I’m sure he’s going to pay me a lot more than the couple dollars per book that I would have gotten from Amazon!!!
On Easter Sunday, 2022, I was praying in my garage so I could be alone with God, asking him to heal me from ME/CFS, praying in tongues. He had promised me previously that I was going to get better – that he was going to heal me. God sometimes gives me the gift of interpretation of tongues as I pray. The way it happens for me is that as I’m praying in tongues a phrase or a sentence will pop into my mind. Then I repeat that part aloud in English. So as I was praying in tongues what came into my mind were the words, “Thank you, God, for healing me.” So I said that out loud, rather tentatively as I was feeling quite exhausted that morning. Then I prayed in tongues again and the words came into my mind again. So this time I said them more boldly. I experienced a prolonged, emotional episode, where I was crying and praying in tongues and English, thanking God for healing me. Afterwards I felt just awesome! Thank you, God, for healing me on your special day! What a blessing!!!
Since God healed me, writing comes easier. I’m so thankful that God, in his great kindness and love, has fixed me and healed me and even promised me eternal rewards for my imperfect attempts at following him.
Lord Jesus, I give my writing to you forever!